The Duck Whisperer's New Attitude

I am the Duck Whisperer.

No, there have not been movies made of my life. I do not host a cable television show. I do not whisper to horses. I do not whisper to dogs.


I am the Duck Whisperer.



I approach the swamp. It is early morning. Rising mist shrouds the water. It is calm.

Brother Wind rests. All is serene. Therefore, am I.


"Thank you, Brother Wind," I murmur. "Shall Brother Mallard honor me today?"


I am the Duck Whisperer.

I scull along the placid shoreline, paddle silently swirling. Lily pads part at my passing.

They know me. I am the'¦

"Wham! Screech!"

There is the sound of riveted aluminum encountering an unseen cypress stump beneath the water's surface. Distant ducks take frenzied flight, testing sorely my self-control. I resist the urge to react as a mere mortal.

Onward paddles the Duck Whisperer.

Ah, here. A favorite spot. A puddler's paradise where the big flocks come to feed. I make a wraithlike approach. Brother Mallard shall not be alarmed when Brother Anchor slips silently into the depths. All is well. I am the'¦

"Kaloosh!"

The anchor slips from my hand. It sounds like a World War II depth charge. Circling greenheads break and scatter in the sky above me. Careful now. Deep breath. Count to 10. Softly chant a soothing mantra.

"Good, my son. Honorable maturity," breathes the Great Spirit of Waterfowling into my ear. "Proceed."

Onward I scull, quiet as the grave. The Duck Whisperer, one with his universe.

I approach a wooded slough. A blue heron watches from water's edge. He makes no sound, shows no fright. Such is my stealth. Turtles basking on logs ignore my passing.

Frolicking otters pay me no attention.

My keen instincts dictate unobtrusive placement of decoys, the learned positioning with my back to the rising sun. I tie my boat securely to a majestic cypress. I hunker silently in perfect, outline-breaking camouflage. My Brother Mallards return.

"Aha!" I whisper. "Tis not, dear Brethren, a placid blackwater breakfast awaiting you this morn. Nay, 'tis a load of blessed pelletized steel!"

I prepare myself. I blow my duck call. Hi-ball. Feeding chuckle. The sounds of Anas platyrhyncos unalarmed. My thumb presses the safety. It clicks softly.

On they come. Circling, circling. Now dropping, pitching through the cypress boughs.

The point of no return. The approach cannot now be aborted. I have them!

The head comes up. The gun is mounted. Brother Mallard, too late, realizes his fatal mistake. He passes. Firearm, eyes and fluid motion are one. I swing. I lead. I fire!

The moment, the primal, ethereal, spiritual experience, is complete. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. Then'¦

"Gaah! You stupid, worthless, flinching, swing-stopping, duck-missing !@#$%!" I yell loudly for every living creature in the county to hear.

Sorry, Great Spirit of Waterfowling. All of that whispering was giving me ulcers.

I am the Duck Screamer.

Now, please get me off this damn stump!

Recommended for You

To date, Ducks Unlimited has played a role in conserving 14 million acres. Industry

Ducks Unlimited: A Duck Man's Best Friend

David Hart

To date, Ducks Unlimited has played a role in conserving 14 million acres.

Make summertime barbecues super easy by grilling up one of these duck recipes from Scott Leysath, Recipes

2 Easy Duck Recipes for Summertime Grilling

WILDFOWL Online Staff

Make summertime barbecues super easy by grilling up one of these duck recipes from Scott...

Here's how to cash in on the spreading numbers of white-fronts. Hunting Tactics

Take Advantage of the Specklebelly Surge

John Gordon

Here's how to cash in on the spreading numbers of white-fronts.

See More Recommendations

Popular Videos

Puppy Training Getting Started

Puppy Training Getting Started

Puppy Training Getting Started

Swedish Duck Hunt

Swedish Duck Hunt

Kevin Steele takes part in a family driven duck hunt in Sweden.

Cowboy Fernandez Commemorative Yentzen Classic Duck Call

Cowboy Fernandez Commemorative Yentzen Classic Duck Call

As Groves, Texas duck call maker Sure-Shot Game Calls celebrates their 60th anniversary during 2019, company CEO Charlie Holder shows off the limited edition Yentzen Classic aimed at commemorating the life and times of company founder Jim 'Cowboy' Fernandez. With a special autographed box and a laser engraved call body, the Cowboy Classic is a perfect way to honor the legacy of the 1959 world duck calling champ and inventor of the double-reed duck call.

See more Popular Videos

Trending Stories

Let's face it, that old mud motor from two years ago isn't cuttin' it any longer.

Of course, it Boats

8 Best Mud Motors for 2016

David Hart - May 26, 2016

Let's face it, that old mud motor from two years ago isn't cuttin' it any longer. Of course,...

While there's no guarantee they'll make you a better shot, these 8 newly-designed shotgun choke Accessories

8 Best Choke Tubes for 2017

Wildfowl Online Staff - October 25, 2017

While there's no guarantee they'll make you a better shot, these 8 newly-designed shotgun...

Jim Orth needed'a simple blind for hunting Lake St. Clair. A staffing recruiter and outfitter from How-To

Building a Duck Boat Blind on a Budget

Mike Marsh - May 10, 2016

Jim Orth needed'a simple blind for hunting Lake St. Clair. A staffing recruiter and outfitter...

See More Stories

More How-To

When Mark Buckwalter was nine, he hunted an oxbow that flowed into the Susquehanna River. It was How-To

Trash to Treasure: DIY Duck Blind

Mike Marsh - March 21, 2016

When Mark Buckwalter was nine, he hunted an oxbow that flowed into the Susquehanna River. It...


Crispin Powley has seen some pretty coarse behavior in the duck marsh, but nothing prepared him How-To

Waterfowling Etiquette: Use Your Manners

David Hart - February 18, 2016

Crispin Powley has seen some pretty coarse behavior in the duck marsh, but nothing prepared...

Jim Orth needed'a simple blind for hunting Lake St. Clair. A staffing recruiter and outfitter from How-To

Building a Duck Boat Blind on a Budget

Mike Marsh - May 10, 2016

Jim Orth needed'a simple blind for hunting Lake St. Clair. A staffing recruiter and outfitter...

See More How-To

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save

Temporary Price Reduction

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.